Day 1 after Trea's Death
Why I am looking at the floor? My head is on it... and my body is sore. Right. I was crying. I get up, painfully slow and tedious. I roll my neck around, getting it back into shape, as it were. My throat feels dry. I go into the kitchen to get a pot of tea. "It's all about tea for you now, isn't it? Do you ever take a break from tea time?" I take a sharp breath as that thought plays across my mind. Maybe I will just drink water for now. Maybe when the pain ebbs away I'll try it again. I use a clean tea-cup and get the water from the sink. I guzzle the whole thing in one gulp. It barely does a thing for the dryness. I heard somewhere, sometime that cold water hydrates quickly, but it also goes out of the system quickly. Warm water does the opposite. I get another cold cup of water. And another. The third one does the trick. So I drink a cup of lukewarm water in a pitiful effort to keep some water in me.
Have I really gone from such a constant adrenaline high to a complete cognitional crash to the point of actually worrying about if my water is hot, warm, lukewarm, or cold? And yet I can't bring myself to even think about anything of real importance. I mean, I don't even know what is important anymore. All I know how to care about is... gone. Goodness, I'd give absolutely everything to turn time around if only I could save Trea and be with him for the rest of our lives! But... I know that Old Man Time doesn't work that way. He has to let some things take place, even if it pains him.
Day 2 after Trea's Death
How long have I been staring at this wall? I don't even remember when I started staring at it.
Day 3 after Trea's Death
I may be living in Dimmerland. But I am no better than an Earth tree: I'm only going through the motions of existing.
Day 4 after Trea's Death
Seconds have stretched into hours. Minutes into days. Hours into months. Days into eternity. Will I ever get through this?
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